George Bush and other things that make you go ick.
March 19th 2011 02:09
But there are a few of God’s creations that are guaranteed to meet the business end of a shoe or whatever spray bottle I can get my hands on – if they have the audacity to roam across my path. Coming in at the bottom of the list is flies. Annoying? Yes. Gross, double yes. Hi! I’m Mortein, have we met?
Next come mosquitos. Between sprays, lotions, plug-ins and palms, these guys have about a snowball’s chance in ‘you know where’ of ever getting a taste of the old Donovan blood.
Second from the top are those sneaky, nuclear-fall-out-resistant, “run across your hand while you’re reaching for a glass of water in the middle of the night and make you scream so horribly your husband thinks someone’s broken in” creatures…cockroaches. I hate these things so much, once when I was around nine months pregnant with my second child, I was on all fours chasing one with a thong when it turned and ran directly at me. Somehow, I got all four limbs, plus huge pregnant belly, off the floor at one time, as it ran underneath me.
And at the very top of the list, taking the crown and the sash are ticks. I’m pretty sure that if reincarnation is a possibility, murderers and politicians come back as them. I can see it now, “Hey, your dog has a George Bush on him.”
When one of my dogs recently got loose and came back with somewhere in the neighbourhood of a gazillion ticks – give or take a few – I honestly contemplated just getting rid of the dog, Soprano style. But a friend of mine, who I am now indebted to for life, helped me clean him up and dip him and life was good again. Well, until the hubby opened the fence and the dog promptly took off again. I’m going to miss that dog…if you know what I mean.
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Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Pop Rock Factory
Love your style, your punch and laconic wit. Doors will surely open for you.
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