Umm, honey...thanks for the blender...grumble, grumble.
October 22nd 2010 02:46
Every once in a while people ask me what I do for a living. Well, first and foremost I am a mum. But when asked what my job is, I believe the answer is more complex.
Am I writer? Sure. Am I a columnist? Of course. But I think the definition of what I do extends beyond such simple explanations. Sometimes, I’m an educator; helping people understand how best not to tick me off. Other times, I’m a comedian; finding humour in parts of life that otherwise might tick me off.
Today, I’m a therapist. That’s right, today I take off my writer’s cap – which is a multi-coloured pinwheel beanie if you must know – and put on my therapist’s hat. I’m reaching out to the men this week in hopes of helping all of you get that perfect gift for your lady.
After speaking to my father-in-law this week, I realized most men really want to get a good gift but they have no inner compass to direct them to it. So, take out your pencil and paper guys and take notes.
•Under no circumstances should you buy your lady clothing before actually checking her size. Too small, she’ll be flattered but she’ll never wear it or have to return it. Too big and she may use said item to strangle you.
•Do not offer to take her to a store of her choice to pick something out for herself then offer to pay. That shows you have no imagination. Some women – those that rhyme with dold giggers – would be more than happy to take you up on that. But for the rest of us, we want you to pick it out.
•And most importantly, you should never purchase her any item that she uses during household chores. Vacuums and dishwashers should only be given in a group of gifts such as at Christmas time – not as THE gift and only if she asked for it.
So, happy shopping and remember, never give your lady a reason to tell everyone about that horrible gift you bought, like the time my husband bought me a bigger wheelbarrow for when I cleaned the horse stalls.
Am I writer? Sure. Am I a columnist? Of course. But I think the definition of what I do extends beyond such simple explanations. Sometimes, I’m an educator; helping people understand how best not to tick me off. Other times, I’m a comedian; finding humour in parts of life that otherwise might tick me off.
Today, I’m a therapist. That’s right, today I take off my writer’s cap – which is a multi-coloured pinwheel beanie if you must know – and put on my therapist’s hat. I’m reaching out to the men this week in hopes of helping all of you get that perfect gift for your lady.
After speaking to my father-in-law this week, I realized most men really want to get a good gift but they have no inner compass to direct them to it. So, take out your pencil and paper guys and take notes.
•Under no circumstances should you buy your lady clothing before actually checking her size. Too small, she’ll be flattered but she’ll never wear it or have to return it. Too big and she may use said item to strangle you.
•Do not offer to take her to a store of her choice to pick something out for herself then offer to pay. That shows you have no imagination. Some women – those that rhyme with dold giggers – would be more than happy to take you up on that. But for the rest of us, we want you to pick it out.
•And most importantly, you should never purchase her any item that she uses during household chores. Vacuums and dishwashers should only be given in a group of gifts such as at Christmas time – not as THE gift and only if she asked for it.
So, happy shopping and remember, never give your lady a reason to tell everyone about that horrible gift you bought, like the time my husband bought me a bigger wheelbarrow for when I cleaned the horse stalls.
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